I Don’t Think Any of Us Mean To

A weekend or two ago, I attended a baby shower for one of my dear friends from college.

All of us ladies were gabbing and laughing about memories from motherhood and memories from childhood when the topic of the Tooth Fairy came up.

Women with grown children were laughing about how crazy it was that they pretty much all now have these weird collections of teeth.

(In case you are a new mommy or mommy-to-be, allow me to inform you that you are a hoarder now-pregnancy tests, first haircut trimmings, artwork, their teeth….you will likely keep everything pertaining to your sweet little one and no one will understand why you keep it except for you and other mommies).

Through the laughter, my friend’s mother-in-law said:

“But really, I don’t think any of us mean to have a collection of teeth,” she laughed. “Life moved so quickly then that you just collected the tooth, dropped it in the box and kept on moving.”

And everyone agreed.

Her words resonated with me.

Life moves so quickly.

And then you have kids, and it revs up to hyper speed.

There are a million things happening in every minute of everyday. As moms, we’re pulled in a slew of different directions every moment-by a career, by our children, by expectations. We’re constantly making tons of split-second decisions because life keeps moving and we’re fighting to keep up.

So, I don’t think any of us mean to end up with a collection of teeth.

I think the part of our brain designed to make decisions about what to keep and what to throw away is taken over by the “mom survival mode” part of our brain and the “I’ll worry about that later,” mentality.

I don’t think any of us mean to leave texts and calls on read.

I think when we remember to text someone back, our child decides in that moment to do a cannonball off the couch and so that text has to wait- again and again and again.

I don’t think any of us mean to let our children have a pacifier ’til they’re three.

I think most of us just find a system that works and never change it until we have to.

So, if you know of a mom with littles-cut her some slack.

Don’t comment on or criticize her parenting or way of doing things.

Don’t remind her about how fast the days are moving-she is well aware.

Don’t tell her things get better or worse from here.

Don’t expect a text back in a timely manner and be gentle with reminders to respond.

There are a lot of things that a mom may do that could seem-in your opinion- wacky, weird, wrong or wild.

Unless you genuinely feel her children are being neglected or abused….mind ya business.

This part of life-this part of parenthood-it moves really fast.

We’re just doing our best to find ways to keep up.

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