Just a Minute

When the twins were very little-

I used to wonder-

Will the role of “big brother” be split between them?

Or will one take on that title?


They both possess qualities of an oldest child,

And they take different opportunities to put those into practice.


Sometimes they lead and sometimes they follow.

Sometimes they give and sometimes they take.

Sometimes they help and sometimes they need the helping.

Sometimes they comfort and sometimes they do the comforting.


But recently, I have watched as James has stepped up and stepped in to the role of “big brother.”


Though he may push him around, he does see that John’s needs are met.


He looks after him in ways a big brother might.


He counts on John’s attention and is validated by John’s laughter. 


And John looks to James as a little brother might, with love and admiration.


He often copies James’ actions and is validated by James’ attention.


It’s as if they instinctively know- James is the oldest. Even if by just a minute. 


And they keep me wondering still-is this the way the relationship will stay? Or will they juggle the role of big brother for the rest of their days?

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